My answer is always the same, begin where you are at this moment in time with an open mind.  It seems like it's really not an answer but a cop out, but it's reality.

Can you admit that sexual abuse is part of your history and that it does and has affected your life?  Even if there are only inklings and the pictures or memories are not vivid and clear, yet there is a sense that something happened.  Past participants acknowledge some of the issue below they face due to the abuse:

Gender shame

Confusion on masculinity and gender identity

Alcohol & Drug abuse to numb feelings

Confusion of emotional needs with sex

Vulnerability issues

Physical & emotional symptoms (panic attacks, impotency)

Patterns of self-sabotaging

Patterns of victimizing self and others

Anger management

Poorly defined sense of self

Chaotic relationships

Trust and intimacy issues 

Boundary and authenticity issues

Sexual re-enactment of the abuse 

Inability and confidence to make decisions

Body image disorders

Helplessness, isolation and alienation

Suicidal thoughts and behaviors

Feeling inadequate as a man​...

and more...

It starts with reaching out

If you know that sexual abuse is part of your life history, start by acknowledging it and admitting that it probably has affected your life in ways that you may not see or understand. 

​​If you are experiencing flashbacks, nightmares, memories concerning the abuse, try not to totally block them out and ignore them. 

 Find information on childhood and adult sexual abuse

Find a competent therapist, counselor, coach who can effectively help or point you in the right direction. 

Attend a support group, workshop for sexual abuse victims.  Yeah it's scary.  

Work on your substance abuse issues if they are present, but realize, that until you address the abuse and betrayal, you have not touch the roots.