HEALING BROKEN MEN
WHERE DO I START?
My answer is always the same, begin where you are at this moment in time with an open mind. It seems like it's really not an answer but a cop out, but it's reality.
WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?
Can you admit that sexual abuse is part of your history and that it does and has affected your life? Even if there are only inklings and the pictures or memories are not vivid and clear, yet there is a sense that something happened. Past participants acknowledge some of the issue below they face due to the abuse:
Confusion on masculinity and gender identity
Alcohol & Drug abuse to numb feelings
Confusion of emotional needs with sex
Physical & emotional symptoms (panic attacks, impotency)
Patterns of self-sabotaging
Patterns of victimizing self and others
Poorly defined sense of self
Trust and intimacy issues
Boundary and authenticity issues
Sexual re-enactment of the abuse
Inability and confidence to make decisions
Body image disorders
Helplessness, isolation and alienation
Suicidal thoughts and behaviors
Feeling inadequate as a man...
It starts with reaching out
If you know that sexual abuse is part of your life history, start by acknowledging it and admitting that it probably has affected your life in ways that you may not see or understand.
If you are experiencing flashbacks, nightmares, memories concerning the abuse, try not to totally block them out and ignore them.
Find information on childhood and adult sexual abuse
Find a competent therapist, counselor, coach who can effectively help or point you in the right direction.
Attend a support group, workshop for sexual abuse victims. Yeah it's scary.
Work on your substance abuse issues if they are present, but realize, that until you address the abuse and betrayal, you have not touch the roots.